Affiliate Whizz-Kid

To continue on my trend of not-so-wise igaming affiliates, these questions were posed to a dome-headed friend of mine by an affiliate seeking answers to his affiliate program’s terms and conditions. This guy goes well beyond the realms of negative carryover, of lifetime value and of payment dates. Yes, this guy goes for the very heart of the issue, the crux that ensures webmaster earnings, the million dollar question that so many hard working affiliates have been toiling away to discover for over a decade. If Spielberg and Lucas wanted to make a fifth Indiana Jones film, they should pass over Harrison Ford for their ingenius, adventure hungry hero in favour of this guy. If God was looking to send a Messiah to save iGaming in its hour of need, surely we’ve found him. Round up your gold, frankincense and myrrh. Christmas has come early!

And so I quote:

Hi There. I’m about to sign up for your program but I have a few questions first. Are my commissions based on whether a player wins or looses (sic.)? If a player looses (sic.) does my commission decrease? Does it ever go into a negitve (sic.) amount? Also are there any tools for affiliates such as banners or tickers we can place on our websites?

Can we give this guy an FBI Award for Services to iGaming?