Next Directory Bookends

From: []
Sent: 18 July 2011 09:16
To: Complaints_Department
Subject: DIRECTORY COMPLAINT – Customer No. ******* (Recollection of Next Directory)
Email Address :
Customer No. : *******

Hi there,

You delivered a hardback directory to me a couple of months ago. Whilst it was kind of you to send it, I don’t recall ever asking for it. Nonetheless, I decided that the two big books would make excellent bookends on my shelves at home, so I kept hold of them.

However, I am surprised to discover a separate invoice to the tune of £3.75. I would be grateful if you could come and recollect the directory as I feel this amount is excessive for bookends, and of course for something I did not ask for in the first place.

Kind regards,

Tom Galanis

Dear Mr Galanis

Thank you for your e-mail.

I am sorry that you have been charged for the Next Directory when you have not requested a copy. I have refunded the charge of the directory and this will show on your next statement. Please keep the directory with our compliments or pass it onto a friend or family member who may make use of it.

I can confirm that no further Next Directories will be sent, unless specifically requested. Should you wish to receive a copy of the Next Directory in the future, please contact our Customer Services Department on 0844 844 8000*. Lines are open from 7.30am to 11.00pm Monday to Saturday and 8.00am to 11.00pm Sunday.

Once again, I am sorry for the inconvenience caused.

Kind regards

Complaints Department
Next Directory

* Calls cost 5p per minute from a BT landline. Mobile providers and other networks may vary

Unbelievable Sportsbook “Affiliate”

I have to say, this has been one hell of a Monday. This is undeniably the funniest Skype conversation I’ve ever had. To provide some context, this “man” has been bombarding the affiliate manager and customer services team at one of my clients for a couple of weeks, first of all claiming he wants to promote the client’s sportsbook on a forum in his market. In principle, fine, although it wasn’t his forum – it appears he is just a member there looking to spam the hell out of it I should imagine. He asked for a salary to do it, which is obviously out of the question. He was told this, but has come back again and again now asking for $50 to be credited to his player account for the time that has been wasted and to compensate him for having to turn down an “offer” from Party Poker. I decided to get involved and this is what happened. Prepare to be amazed.

Names and locations have been replaced with X and Y:
[16:05:50] Tom Galanis: hi Affiliate X
[16:05:52] Affiliate X: Hi Tom
[16:05:56] Tom Galanis: Affiliate Manager X has passed this over to me
[16:06:02] Affiliate X: You are this most important person
[16:06:06] Affiliate X: in Sportsbook X :)?
[16:06:15] Tom Galanis: I wouldn’t say that exactly
[16:06:37] Tom Galanis: but I’m happy to talk to you about the way we work
[16:06:58] Affiliate X: Yes , I am happy 🙂
[16:07:02] Tom Galanis: I gather that Affiliate Manager X has already told you that we are only looking to work with affiliates on a revenue share basis?
[16:07:36] Tom Galanis: the prospect of paying a forum member a salary to assist in promotion of Sportsbook X on the forum is simply out of the question
[16:07:51] Affiliate X: Hmm , I have advertiste on my forum from bookmakers who paid per month
[16:08:14] Affiliate X: without share basiis
[16:08:25] Tom Galanis: are you the owner of the site?
[16:08:37] Affiliate X: Contanst stake per month
[16:08:42] Affiliate X: few hundred dollars.
[16:08:51] Tom Galanis: how do you mean?
[16:08:58] Tom Galanis: you’re guaranteeing a number of bets?
[16:09:02] Tom Galanis: you’ve lost me
[16:09:05] Affiliate X: wait a moment
[16:09:33] Tom Galanis: do you run Site X?
[16:10:02] Affiliate X: My forum has the largest attendance in Country X, because of companies depending on what place on the page they want to have a banner set the rate each month.
[16:10:03] Affiliate X: yes .
[16:10:18] Affiliate X: I written with Affiliate Manager X that Sportsbook X can place banner on main page .
[16:10:29] Affiliate X: on my forum so it costs few hundred dolars per month .
[16:10:30] Tom Galanis: I’m confused, because you are not the nameholder of the affiliate account with Sportsbook X
[16:10:56] Tom Galanis: it is against our terms and conditions to discuss this account with anybody aside from the registered affiliate member
[16:11:03] Tom Galanis: for all I know, you could be anybody
[16:11:12] Affiliate X: I do not understand you know.
[16:11:27] Tom Galanis: really?
[16:11:36] Affiliate X: Yes
[16:11:39] Tom Galanis: I am going to Skype message the registered member
[16:11:43] Tom Galanis: and ask him
[16:11:53] Affiliate X: I am administrator of Site X
[16:12:33] Affiliate X: please does it me registered member? what do you mean?
[16:13:09] Affiliate X: because I do not understand this sentence.
[16:13:36] Tom Galanis: Site X registered as a Sportsbook X affiliate
[16:13:52] Tom Galanis: we can only discuss deals with the person registered under the account
[16:13:56] Tom Galanis: and that is not you
[16:14:17] Affiliate X: how registered in affiliate ?
[16:15:01] Affiliate X: and not discuss with me ? I have waited last 2 weeks for your final decision , I lost good offer advertise from this becauce I waited for Affiliate Manager X .
[16:15:17] Tom Galanis: but you don’t run the Site X?
[16:15:25] Tom Galanis: there is no offer as far as I can see it
[16:15:32] Affiliate X: Yes I run the Site X
[16:15:38] Tom Galanis: you are just a guy who uses the forum to place affiliate links, no?
[16:15:46] Tom Galanis: do you know Affiliate X?
[16:16:02] Tom Galanis: he is the person registered as the affiliate?
[16:16:21] Affiliate X: I pushed advertise as a banner on forum , NOT AFFILIATE LINKS
[16:16:38] Affiliate X: haha affiliate links joke
[16:16:45] Tom Galanis: they are the same thing
[16:16:50] Tom Galanis: a banner is an affiliate link
[16:17:15] Affiliate X: I will add baner on main place on forum aboce topic’s
[16:17:23] Affiliate X: it is the best plave for advertise
[16:17:35] Tom Galanis: ok, but do you understand my problem?
[16:17:44] Affiliate X: I do not understand so
[16:17:51] Tom Galanis: we have someone, who is not you, who has registered as the affiliate for Site X
[16:18:19] Tom Galanis: unless you send me proof that you are the site owner, I cannot enter in to negotiations with you
[16:18:26] Affiliate X: to this someone is rubber .
[16:18:37] Tom Galanis: please can you clarify what you mean?
[16:18:54] Affiliate X: On behalf of Site X all negotiations can only lead me as administrator
[16:19:08] Tom Galanis: ok, so do you know a person called Affiliate X?
[16:20:12] Affiliate X: No , nobody from my moderato’s on forum not called Affiliate X
[16:20:37] Affiliate X: So no one could on behalf of the forum to talk to you
[16:21:13] Tom Galanis: ok, so you don’t know that he is making money from Sportsbook X already, claiming it is through Site X and Site Y?
[16:22:09] Affiliate X: this forum is very smaller than my forum ( Site X )
[16:22:40] Tom Galanis: ok, in order to proceed with negotiations, I need you to send me proof that you own the forum Site X
[16:23:03] Tom Galanis: I do apologise if you do, but it would seem that someone is claiming to be the site owner already
[16:23:12] Tom Galanis: we cannot have 2 people running the same site
[16:23:53] Tom Galanis: it should be very easy to do – just go to your domain registrar and do a screenshot showing your account and the domain name
[16:24:11] Affiliate X: Okay no problem
[16:24:20] Tom Galanis: great, thanks
[16:25:01] Affiliate X: so I think you can add bonus to my account now 🙂 I think 50 USd will be good
[16:25:05] Affiliate X: real money , not funny
[16:25:17] Tom Galanis: seriously, are you not understanding me?
[16:25:33] Affiliate X: seriously , my english i so bad.
[16:25:37] Tom Galanis: why should I give you $50?
[16:25:52] Affiliate X: because I have waited long time for Affiliate Manager Xz final decision
[16:26:03] Affiliate X: and I lost good offer advertise ( from PartyPoker)
[16:26:10] Affiliate X: because I waited for Sportsbook X.
[16:26:15] Affiliate X: I lost good money.
[16:26:21] Tom Galanis: I waited 17 years to have sex, it doesn’t mean all the women in the world were going to go to bed with me when it finally happened.
[16:26:30] Tom Galanis: I’m sure the deal will still be there
[16:27:34] Affiliate X: So , please credit me bonus, I think you are serious person, because I dont know who are you ?
[16:27:37] Tom Galanis: If you like, I’ll speak to the affiliate manager at Partypoker and get them to help you
[16:27:44] Tom Galanis: what bonus?
[16:27:49] Affiliate X: 50 USD.
[16:27:58] Affiliate X: I can see only your nickname .
[16:28:36] Affiliate X: you want my screenshot domain register … so please credit me bonus , I will be know that you are serious person in Sportsbook X.
[16:28:52] Tom Galanis: my name is Tom Galanis. If you like I can speak to my friend at bet365, where I used to work. I’m sure he will be able to confirm your details as his banners are all over Site X
[16:29:29] Tom Galanis: I really don’t understand what game you are trying to play
[16:29:58] Tom Galanis: you must be mad to think that just because you harass members of my staff that you will get a $50 bonus
[16:29:58] Affiliate X: hohoho
[16:30:13] Tom Galanis: I may have a belly like santa, but I lack the beard
[16:30:40] Tom Galanis: I suggest you move on to your next victim – you will not be getting any bonus at Sportsbook X
[16:31:16] Affiliate X: What is your friend in bet365 ? I Just know a few person from this company .
[16:31:24] Tom Galanis: I used to work there
[16:31:28] Affiliate X: polish and english .
[16:31:41] Tom Galanis: feel free to tell them all about me
[16:32:23] Affiliate X: ok fuck you
[16:32:44] Tom Galanis: it’s been a pleasure talking to you too Affiliate X
[16:32:47] Tom Galanis: have a nice day
[16:33:13] Affiliate X: buahahaha
[16:33:30] Affiliate X: Sportsbook X — Sportbook X’s Location’s rubber’s
[16:33:41] Tom Galanis: I would love to know what a rubber is
[16:34:00] Affiliate X: Sportsbook X
[16:34:22] Affiliate X: Sportsbook X does not have good opinion in Country X .
[16:34:24] Affiliate X: and Language X users’s
[16:34:51] Tom Galanis: you didn’t tell me you controlled the entire Language X market?
[16:35:19] Affiliate X: yes I control
[16:35:27] Affiliate X: you have bad note on SBR
[16:35:37] Tom Galanis: that’s an American site
[16:35:49] Affiliate X: yes but , the best .
[16:36:10] Affiliate X: users waiting 8 days from answer from Sportsbook X Support on email
[16:36:12] Affiliate X: LOOOOOOOL
[16:37:40] Tom Galanis: that probably has a lot to do with a certain someone phoning in every 5 minutes believing they warrant a bonus
[16:37:46] Tom Galanis:
[16:37:51] Tom Galanis: I don’t see Sportsbook X here
[16:38:35] Tom Galanis: can you send me the link?
[16:38:46] Affiliate X: please look on my forum Site X
[16:38:49] Affiliate X: Topic Sportsbook X
[16:38:55] Affiliate X: lot of negative opinion’s
[16:38:57] Tom Galanis: can you send me the link?
[16:39:02] Affiliate X: yes
[16:40:01] Affiliate X: http://www.Site X/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=4734429&page=3
[16:40:05] Affiliate X: 3 longs pages
[16:40:09] Affiliate X: negative opnion’s
[16:41:51] Tom Galanis: I have to say, it doesn’t seem too bad to me
[16:43:05] Affiliate X: you are not understand Language X
[16:43:07] Affiliate X: hehe
[16:43:16] Tom Galanis: I have translated it
[16:43:23] Affiliate X: it is not bad ?
[16:43:25] Affiliate X: Come On
[16:43:28] Affiliate X: you are funny
[16:43:47] Tom Galanis: from what I can see most people are just discussing whether they want to take the bonus or not
[16:43:53] Tom Galanis: an $8 bonus, not $50
[16:44:23] Affiliate X: please push all pages
[16:44:50] Affiliate X: These people do not have good opinion about Sportsbook X
[16:45:03] Affiliate X: They write ” **mence”
[16:45:08] Tom Galanis: it seems that most of them are racist to me
[16:45:23] Affiliate X: yes
[16:45:37] Affiliate X: “send personal ID to Nationality of Person running Sportsbook X”
[16:45:57] Tom Galanis: so let me get this straight
[16:46:09] Tom Galanis: you want me to pay you money to promote Sportsbook X on ‘your’ website
[16:46:24] Tom Galanis: but it seems you think very little of Country X
[16:46:36] Tom Galanis: why are you interested in working with Sportsbook X if this is what you think?
[16:47:17] Affiliate X: I dont understand your sentence
[16:47:21] Affiliate X: yes I can work in Sportsbook X.
[16:47:54] Affiliate X: I would like to be official representantive on global forum’s
[16:48:18] Affiliate X: I worked for Tobet few month.
[16:48:41] Tom Galanis: Let me be clear, we do not want you to represent Sportsbook X
[16:48:53] Affiliate X: I have have the necessary experience
[16:49:39] Tom Galanis: that may be the case, but we will not be proceeding with working with you
[16:49:49] Tom Galanis: best of luck in your future endeavours
[16:50:24] Affiliate X: okay , so for this ” best lucky” credit me bonus to my Sportsbook X account
[16:50:47] Tom Galanis: no
[16:50:59] Affiliate X: yes

I’m not going to publicly name this guy, but if any affiliate managers would like to know more, I’d be happy to tell them. Simply incredible.

More Spam fun and games

Hi Affiliate Manager X,

Thanks for another email promoting your affiliate program. I actually replied to your last one a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t hear anything back. I am starting to wonder whether you are actually a robot programmed to send the same email numerous times without the programmed functionality to reply.

I can reply in binary code if that helps?



Why I will not work with you on a CPA basis

Hi Affiliate X,

Apologies for not getting back to you sooner, but I wanted to take the time in-house to discuss the option of offering CPA deals at Affiliate Program X. Up until now, at least on the sportsbook front, it is not an area that we have looked at solidly.

In principle and provided that we can get the mechanics right, I believe this is something the board at Affiliate Program X would entertain on a trial basis.

However, having looked at the activity of the 216 players you have sent to Affiliate Program X in the past 9-10 months, 93 of these players have clearly come to us in the hope of claiming and winning from their bonus. It is evident to me that players you have sent, on the whole, are very much hunting the bonus. Only 8 of the 216 players you have sent since October last year have deposited anything other than £50, and only 2 have deposited more than once. As you know, the bonus most bookmakers is set up to act as a starting point for a player’s association with the company, rather than an end point.

Unfortunately, given the ever increasing number of bookmakers out there offering welcome bonuses, it is easy for players (and indeed affiliates to send their players) to go to bookmakers with the sole intention of claiming the bonus, and reducing a player’s risk below the 100% margin mark that natural bookmaking tends to go 6 or 7% above to maintain a profit – hence why your account is in the red. Working with an affiliate on a revenue sharing basis is therefore the most beneficial form of commission structure from my point of view as you are also sharing in any losses – which you should expect if you vehemently promote the welcome bonus.

Had we be paying you on a £20 CPA basis for every player that has met a £50 deposit release, you’d be a pretty wealthy man and it would have left us in the red on both the player and affiliate front. If it were clear to me that a pattern of the players you have brought in was not in line with simple bonus abuse (I am not suggesting that this was ever your intention) and indeed that more than 8 of your players had deposited anything other than £50 on a one-off occasion, then I would look at a CPA. The fact is, only 2 of your players have ever redeposited and therefore it can make no sense to us to pay a CPA on this.

If you were to show me ways in which you do/could promote Affiliate Program X aside from pushing the welcome bonus rigourously and in ways that might allow for players, as is the norm, to ‘try’ the sportsbook with a £10-£20 deposit (90% of depositing players tend to join in this way), like what they see (that’s our job), come back in line with our expected redeposit rate from retention campaigns and remain loyal in line with our expected player lifetime and value, then we can look at a CPA payment. That being said, I’m sure a revenue share deal might suit you better when/if it came to this.

I do hope that the companies you do work with on a CPA basis are making a long term profit, or else you might find that the model you are working to will not last too long. If you would like to discuss ways in which you can compare bookmakers aside from a free bet comparison through your affiliate network, I would be more than happy to work alongside you to create a more sustainable business model which would see Affiliate Program X play a sizeable role on your site.

Kind regards,

Tom Galanis
Affiliate Program X Affiliate Manager

Rediscovering SkiFree

Discovering what Windows was all about in the early 90s to me meant playing SkiFree. I recall it being pretty much the most advanced PC game of its time back in the day and have just rediscovered the ‘joys’ of playing it. Sure it isn’t as hi-tech as it once was, but it’s still quite a good laugh. What’s more, unlike many online casinos, you can still download SkiFree to your desktop. Wahey!

Download SkiFree Now

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Who wants the Boobie Prize?

I’m pretty certain that the thinking behind this promotion is purely PR-inspired. We haven’t seen a promotion quite as dastardly as this since the early Noughties, but those risque folks at Celtic Casino have implanted an astonishing silicon-enhanced promotion back into the online gaming world. Ladies (and gentleman), I give you the Boob Job Draw!

That’s right, the ultimate boobie prize has made a return and the depths that this cleavage-hungry casino has plummeted to are incredible. If you’re, and I quote, “medically ineligible” or would simply rather receive cash to watch other boobies in strip clubs, Celtic Casino is offering €1,000 in lieu of a trip to Costa Rica AND the surgery.

Obviously, Costa Rica probably only ranks as an A Cup on the Plastic Surgery hotspots of the world, but €1,000 to cover your trip and the augmentation hardly builds confidence for those lucky ladies or ladyboys keen enough to drop a load of cash into Celtic Casino to earn a raffle ticket for this titillating competition.

If you’re keen to enter this competition (how did you find my blog) or would simply like to find out more, have a peep by following this link.

This has to be the most outrageous attempt to create a USP/feast on industry PR sites like mine in years, bra none and if you fancy having a go, play at Celtic Casino Now!

Worst Bet Ever?

So I’ve just shared a post from one of the connections on my LinkedIn Network. Someone he works with was against the idea that LinkedIn has any value whatsoever. As a result, the interestingly named gentleman, Mersudin Forbes, bet him that for every ‘Like’ or ‘Comment’ made to his LinkedIn post, his workmate had to give him £1. This was 2 hours ago.

Over 1,000 ‘Likes’ and 246 ‘Comments’ later and his mate is already looking in a spot of bother. Apparently I have over 7 million people in my LinkedIn network. We could see Mersudin making an appearance on the more famous Forbes list sooner rather than later.

As LinkedIn isn’t the best social networking site for sharing links for connections of connections (I guess this is what his workmate had in mind), you may need to add Mr Forbes to your network to earn him a quid. For those of you linked to me, you should be able to go through my profile and comment/like the post!

I think his as-yet-unidentified workmate might be about to learn the true value of viral. Woops!

Update: a day on and Mersudin is looking over £9,000 better off (assuming his mate honours the bet, which must be unlikely now!)